Arguing in front of the child

Parents are shy about asking TOS questions in group discussions during the course or, more often, in individual consultations.

"What if there is a conflict between parents and the children are witnesses?"

"Can I argue in front of my children?"

If you have at least one child aged at least one year, and you have never been in an argument with your partner - and in the presence of children - then let me know. The World Government is looking for you to conduct scientific, unethical experiments to find out how non-humanoids do it. Thank you in advance for your contribution to saving humanity from eternal strife and conflict!

But if you are a normal person, then you know that conflict and arguments are a normal part of life. The question, of course, is how they happen.

Here are some important tips on adult disputes:

1. You can have conflicts in front of children. It is important that this is done in a respectful way and that children also see the reconciliation. In this way we show children that people can have different views and how to come to a compromise, whether to admit fault, apologise, agree with the other person that I was wrong to begin with, etc.

2. If you have a not-so-nice argument, be sure to explain to the children what happened. Tell them that it was an argument that may have caused them fear. Restore a sense of security.

3. Stop if you feel that the topic is "hot" and it will be difficult to be respectful to each other. Especially when it comes to relationships, the quality of relationships. Schedule a time and place for such a conversation when you can ensure that the children are not present.

4. Children can "take on" their parents' conflicts. Sometimes it comes in the form of their desire to defuse the situation by joking, being helpful, comforting. In such cases, take the responsibility back to yourself by explaining to your child that you are having an argument, that it has nothing to do with him/her and that it can happen that people argue, and that you will make up. You can name the child's feelings and reassure the child if necessary.

5. May cry in the presence of a baby 😉 These are the moments that you can normalise, that crying is a good and relaxing activity that makes you feel better and calmer. 

If you want to learn more about this and get more peace of mind in your relationship with your children, sign up For a course on emotional education of the child

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