What is parent burnout?

The role of mum or dad is so beautiful, fulfilling, challenging of course, and not always a walk in the meadow on a sun-drenched Midsummer morning.

But when you feel that beautiful walk in a beautiful meadow is not coming, it's time to see if you're burnt out as a parent.

How does it feel? Imagine your phone battery is on 8% all the time and no matter what you do, you can't get it to charge any more. You feel endlessly tired, frantic, depressed.

Signs of burnout in parenting:

1. Fatigue even after a good night's sleep;
2. It's easy to flare up in anger, even over small things;
3. Unable to feel connected to children;
4. Constant doubts about whether you're a good enough mum or dad;
5. Difficulty falling asleep, jerky sleep (not because of the baby).

Causes of burnout:

1. Little or no support from the "village";
2. The anxious pursuit of perfection as a mum or dad;
3. Trying to balance work and family life;
4. "Others need more", so never take time for yourself;
5. Constant worry about the children.

How does burnout affect you? In terms of health, frequent illness, persistent tiredness. Anxiety and sadness pervade the mood. Challenges arise in both partnerships and friendships.

How does burnout as a parent affect children? They may feel excited or sad. Children's behaviour can become unmanageable and defiant, they may have difficulties at school or nursery. Children may feel distant from their parents.

How to avoid burnout?

• Ask for help where and when you can!
• Don't strive for excellence as a parent!
• Take time for yourself, even 5 minutes every now and then to do nothing.
• Taking care of yourself - eating, drinking, sleeping and doing something for pleasure.

If you feel that this is already a story about you - burnout is not a tiredness you can deal with by sleeping it off. Seek help - GP, psychiatrist, psychotherapy!

One of the reasons for burnout is unrealistic expectations of oneself as a mum or dad, and also of the child, as well as an idealised view of the parent-child relationship. If you feel that this story could be about you at some point, be aware of the situation and act early.

One of the options to get in touch and understand and accept that you are a good parent to your children even with all the situations in life that don't go perfectly - sign up For the BEA course. It will show you what to expect from your child at different ages, and how to build a respectful relationship with your child.