I want my two-year-old to listen to me and not hurt his little sister/brother

How to get a 2-year-old to make friends with a little brother or sister? How to explain to him/her how to handle the toddler better?

A two-year-old who "listens" is science fiction. At this age, a child will follow a 40-60% instruction under the right circumstances.

A 2-year-old also still needs a lot of parental support for both emotional and physical needs. So there will be no quick and easy solutions here.

1. Two-year-old and toddler

Yes, you really have to look after a two-year-old for almost 100% when he is in the same room as a toddler. Safety first. And that is the parents' responsibility.

2. Two-year-old communication

No, every two-year-old's communication with a toddler is not threatening. Be sure to observe their communication, don't get offended at every movement. Also watch the toddler's reactions to the "big" child's actions. As long as the toddler is calm, happy and talking, do not push the two-year-old away. Tell and show how and where you can pee. Praise when the big one does as you tell and show!

3. Parents' feelings

Follow your feelings and thoughts. Hasn't the "big" child's behaviour, in whatever form, already turned into a threat in your eyes? If so, look at your "big" child as if through different eyes. What about his behaviour pleases you? Do you not call him names in situations where it is not necessary?

4. Praise success

Praises the few situations when the "big" child loves the little one, when they both have a good time together, are happy. Tell both children how happy you are to see them playing together. Name anything that you feel is beautiful and pleasant, something that warms your heart!

5. Remember yourself

It is a lot of work to take care of two children so young. You do everything well enough. Intolerance and anger often arise from tiredness, which is practically inevitable in such a situation. So remember to take care of yourself.
Be sure to bring in all the extra forces you can! As I said at the beginning, there are no easy or quick solutions here.
Minimise your daily chores to only those that recharge your batteries and take care of your children's basic needs.

If you feel you can't cope with the new changes, emotions and actions of an older child when a little brother or sister joins the family, you can also seek support PEP in Mummy consultations.

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