7 tips to stop shouting at children

I understand, I'm really sorry that it happened to you again today, even though yesterday you promised yourself that you would not do it again.

The good news and the bad news at the same time is that about 99.99% parents are and have been shouting at their children. You are not alone in this.

Shouting scares the child. If shouting happens every day, the fear centres are constantly activated. Very simply, the child's brain grows in a mode of courtship. This means that it is more difficult for him to learn, to relax, to make friends, because his brain is busy being distracted and frightened.

There is no one quick fix for reducing or ending bans. It is a process.

I hope you will find some of the suggestions I have prepared useful.

1. Taking care of yourself - drink more water, make sure you eat enough, make sure you get enough sleep. A glass of wine every night may help you not to scream that night, but the next morning your ability to stay calm will certainly be impaired.
2. If you are stressed about work, money, relationships, be brave enough to admit it to yourself. Too often, children become lightning rods. Take adult responsibility for this and figure out who will listen to you acceptingly.
3. Learn about the characteristics of the child's age. Sometimes parents have no idea what can and cannot be expected of a 2-year-old or a teenager, what is normal and what is not. Once you understand what is happening developmentally, you will be more accepting, know what to ask for and how to encourage cooperation.
4. If there are situations in which you often lose your temper and shout at your child, write them down. What happened before? What did the child do? What thoughts were in your head at the time? What were your emotions? How did your parents/carers react in your childhood in a similar situation?
5. Apologies. The more often you do it, admit to your child that you shouldn't have done it and repeat what you said in a calm voice, the more often you will think before shouting.
6. Try again each time. Give yourself a second chance. Right on the spot. Take a breath, blow it out and do it again, but respectfully and calmly.
7. Forgive yourself. You do the best you can every day to take care of that little person!