5 questions to ask yourself when things are going wrong

In a difficult time, it can be hard to believe that there is anything that can help you. The good news is that you don't have to believe in anyone. I invite you not to believe that this can help and to answer each of the 5 questions slowly in total disbelief.

1. What is the reason or reasons for your irritation?

List everything that you think has caused you to feel irritated at the moment. This list will help you to see what needs attention you need.

2. What emotions are you feeling right now?

I put a list of emotions at the end of the email, so you don't have to look so hard for words. Look through the list and write down/name all the emotions you are feeling at the moment. The list is not exhaustive and never will be, so if you want, feel like John Rainis or Egil Levitt and come up with your own emotion words, trying to be as specific as possible about your emotions.

3. What do you feel each of these emotions about?

For example, "I feel worried about whether I will be able to be a good support for my child when they have their blood tests." Or, "I feel despair at the thought of another sleepless night ahead of me." And, "I feel sad, but there is no apparent or known reason for it."

4. What do you need to feel a bit better right now?

"I want...", "I need...", "My need is..." Name your needs in any order you can think of. Just make sure that you also have a real need.

For example, "I want the baby to sleep through the night..." This is a wish to ask a goldfish.

The need might be "To feel less lonely on another sleepless night, I need my partner to ask me in the morning how many times I had to get up and if there is anything he can do to take care of me."

5. Which of the following needs can you already meet? Which of the needs will you inform your fellow human beings about?

Record your emotions right now. Do you notice any difference in how you feel now and before answering the questions?

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