5 things to do when your child is angry

Today I invite you to think about anger as an emotion in which a person can also have needs.

It will be easier to think about what your child needs once you have observed and identified your own anger needs. So ask yourself from time to time in anger - what do I need right now?

A quick answer to this question might be "I want to stop being angry! I want my child to stop getting angry!"

But remember that this wish is not realistic. Neither you nor your child can choose not to be angry. The only choice we have is how to do it in a way that is respectful to ourselves and others.

When a child gets angry

When your child is angry, he needs your presence and support.

1. Physical and emotional safety. Make sure your child cannot hurt himself or others during anger. It is also important that he feels emotionally safe and loved, even when he is experiencing these difficult, strong feelings.
2. A calm presence. The child needs the adult to model a stable, calm presence, not to bolt into the child's emotional despair. Breathe, feel your toes, remind yourself that you are actually in control.
3. Empathy and approval. Acknowledge, name the child's emotions and remind them that it is normal to feel annoyed and angry. Say: "I can see that you are angry! It may be that you are feeling angry."
4. Space and time. Every emotion has a beginning and an end. If anger happens on the playground or in another public place, take the child to a quieter part of the room or to a separate room to reduce irritants. Don't come over the top with hugs, stay close by or at a safe distance.
5. Physical and emotional comfort. When the anger is almost over, or completely over, all children want to hug and cuddle. Give a child this comfort. If you feel it has a place, tell them what happened.

Child Emotional Education Course

In the Emotional Education of the Child course Week 8 is dedicated to the development of emotion regulation skills. We talk about how to help your child, support him in his strong emotions, don't reject him if he is angry or sad. If you want to join the autumn course, it starts now - on 10 September!